For all of you out there who want to help me out, I'm doing an informal poll.
What's the one thing you wish you had known before you got married that you didn't find out until after you got married?
Married friends, leave your responses! Single friends, poll your married friends and then leave your responses!
3 comments:
That boys are really smelly. ;)
(That's what my mom-in-law told me she wish she'd known!)
Seriously, though, I'm going to have to think hard on this one.
I think part of the problem is that you can't really know some things about a relationship until you ARE married, and it's really hard to describe because different couples have different personalities that mesh together in complex ways, so you really can't predict what's going to happen.
But I do remember the best advice we got (from Bill & Kitti): EVERYTHING (yes, even sex) gets better with practice! By the time you've been married 20, 40, 50 years, even though you'll still have much to work on, like a good wine, marriage only gets better with age. And I can attest to this, even though ours is only a 2002 vintage.
Also, I wish I had read this and realized it sooner, though I might not have understood it as well before the wedding: there's a description of how a marriage founded in Christ has His aroma, like homemade bread. When people walk into your home, they should instantly sense the aroma of Christ. They may not know who He is, but they will recognize your relationship as one built on a solid foundation by the way you act with one another. In other words, since your marriage represents Christ and the church, act like it! You are presenting Jesus' relationship with His bride to the world! Your very coupleness is a witness to His glory! I think that is a remarkable illustration, but it can be difficult sometimes to remember in real life. It's something to strive for, though, and important to remember since as Christians we do have help in this, as we are empowered by the Holy Spirit! He will use your and David's relationship to glorify Himself in ways you can't even imagine.
Blessing to you both!
Be very aware of the snoring effect if you haven't slept in the same room with this person. It can be very annoying.
Remember that marrying your best friend is the key. Can you talk about everything - sometimes discussing loudly until you can kiss him, love him and most importantly respect him for his wonderful thoughts and wisdom - especially when you don't share the same thoughts and wisdom?
Don't hide your emotions from him in an effort to protect your heart - he deserves to see all of your emotions - even when he hurts you (and he will - completely unintentionally).
Love his noises - they are a reminder that he is still alive and in love with you.
When you disagree - don't talk to other people about him - talk to him.
Enjoy some reckless abandon in your marriage - all aspects. :-) It keeps is spicy - trust me after 20 years you need to add spice unexpectedly to keep him on his toes!
Don't expect him to make you happy and vice versa - you are responsible for choosing to be happy in your life. No one can "make another person happy".
Tell each other you love each other all the time. Your head hears it - your heart responds to it and that keeps other parts of your life in rhythm.
Worship together - pray together - study together - you are separate, but one in Him!
TALK TALK TALK - pillow talk is the best - first thing in the morning and last thing at night!
Love you! Can't wait to meet him!
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