Ask, even if you don't receive

I have been reminded lately how important it is to simply (or not so simply) ask for what we need, whether it comes to pass or not.

Most days, I have no idea what I need or even want. Yesterday, I had a hard time at work. I was exhausted, on the verge of tears all day, and felt awful. I knew that I couldn't make it until close (it was my LONG day). I kept debating with myself about whether I should call the scheduler or whether I should try to make it until 9:00. At one point, my internal dialogue sounded like this:

"OMG, I can't believe I HAVE to make it until 9:00. I don't think I can, but I have to." (READ: IT'S THE ADULT THING TO DO AND IT'S YOUR JOB.)
"Ummmm, NO. Call H and see if she can find someone to cover."
"But what if she can't find someone?"

Yeah, I called her about 2:30 (after debating internally for HOURS, dang that introspection!), and the mere act of calling to make my need known was empowering. It's like telling her that I wasn't going to make it till 9 made me able to make it till 9 if she couldn't find someone. It's kind of crazy.

I was prompted to write this post not only because I'm proud of myself for stepping up to ask for something yesterday, but because almost 5 years ago, I was reminded by the Father that I could have prayed about something I was worried about. I so often ask for prayers and don't pray myself. I'd like to say it's because I'm in the middle of a crisis/panic attack/etc, but I can't say that in all honesty. I just don't come boldly to the throne of grace like I should, because I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll ask for the wrong things. Like being able to go home from work on a day that I just can't handle being an adult. But then I am blessed by God's grace of being able to do just that.

Father, You know our struggles and our inabilities. You know where we just can't. Sometimes you walk alongside us to give us strength. Sometimes you let us slide so that we can curl up in your lap and recover. Today, I am thankful for both.