Addendum

It hit me the other day, when I was looking over mom's guest list, that only 1 of the couples on her list lives out of town. THE 180-LINE SPREADSHEET DOES NOT INCLUDE OUT-OF-TOWNERS. Oh, my. We are preparing for the bash of the year, apparently. My m-i-l's guest list is seeming really short right now.

What's in a name?

Names are fun. Especially mine. My soon-to-be name, I mean. Everywhere I've looked, I've found that my first name (which won't change, of course) is a Cornish variation of "Guinevere" and means "fair lady." I've always loved the romantic attachment of my name to the legend of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table (though I don't so much love the association with the king's most trusted knight).

My new last name is going to be Fairchild, which, being a good English name, means just that. Fair child. I have to laugh at God's sense of humor. Who thinks my new name will be a bit redundant? Anyone? Who thinks we should name our first girl Sabrina?

Boxes

Lately, I've been having trouble keeping things nice and separate. I've always been able to do that, but my ability to keep things neat is leaving me. And I don't mean my house.

Case(s) in point: I am currently maintaining (or helping to maintain) 4 blogs. One is quickly coming to a close, but that still leaves 3. They are all attempts to separate different parts of my life. One is Brasilian, one is for the next phase of my life, one is to keep track of the books I'm reading, and the last is one I co-author by making general commentary about what I'm reading.

Sometimes I wonder if I am spinning plates or juggling knives, if something is bound to fall and destroy the order I work so hard to create. I am learning (albeit slowly) that life is messy. Compartments don't always work. People tend to drift from one compartment to another -- from friend to family to work and back. I try not to put people in boxes, to let them be who they are, but those compartments are just so handy. They keep people at bay, far enough away so that they don't see me at my most real. They lift responsibility from me to give of myself for others. At the end of the day, I can't justify that. And so, though it's hard to stay out of the boxes, I try. Life is messy. Jesus was messy. God is messy. Since I follow Him, my life will be messy. People will drift. Categories will be dynamic and fuzzy. What is truly order will seem like disorder to me, who is not used to the ways that God works. Still, after 18 years.

One thing I know. His way is always best.

Toasting....

When Arab J, the D-man's mom, and I went to Minas Gerais, we bought pewter. My future m-i-l saw some gorgeous champagne flutes and started asking me questions about them:

"What do you think of those?"

"Would that be a good wedding present?"

"What's the advantage of having a storage box?"

I'm sure there were several other questions involved, but that trip was 3 months ago. Unlike the D-man, my memory is failing quickly. I do remember my answer, though:

"If I were to buy those for someone, I would give them to the couple before the wedding and ask them to use them to toast at the reception."

Turns out, she was asking me those questions for ME. And so what are we going to do? As we're not going to have alcohol at the reception (for so many reasons -- cost, the tendency of people to overserve themselves, the reception is at a church), I thought about how we can use them. Eureka! We're toasting with Guaraná (a Brazilian soft drink that looks enough like champagne to cheat with). Exciting for us, though I really hope we get more to eat and drink at the reception than wedding cake and Guaraná....

Guest considerations

I have been talking with my parents about my budget, and I mentioned to my mom that the D-man and I were anticipating inviting 300 people to the wedding. Her response was, "Um, that's not enough." She sent me her (flexible) guest list, and the column of LAST NAMES takes up 180 lines on a spreadsheet, and most of those are couples. Instead of freaking out, I have to laugh and remember that I am from a small town where people know who I belong to by looking at me (I look strikingly like my mom, though people who haven't met my mom say I look like my dad). Not to mention the number of people that the D-man's mom has been in touch with over the past 10 years.

As much as I would love for our special day to be small and intimate, God is helping me to remember that a true celebration involves the entire community celebrating with us. And my parents are paying for it -- if they are willing to pay to invite as many people as they wish, who am I to argue? And so I say, "The more, the merrier!"

Holiday

I have recently found out that we're going to have a slim Christmas. Relatively speaking, that is. All of my relatives that usually come for Christmas are waiting 2 weeks and coming for the wedding. I can't tell you how much that thrills me.

Who's coming:

• One brother, who is leaving for Korea next week (to stay a year)
• One sister, who lives in Montana
• One cousin, who lives in Colorado
• One cousin, who lives in Florida
• One aunt, who lives in Florida

The lonely ones left at Christmas will be myself and my brother (who will be living a short drive away in Atlanta). We're looking forward to better presents.

"One man's ways may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best."
--Admiral Croft, Persuasion (Jane Austen)